To My Child’s Foster Mom

Dear Foster Mother,

I’ve heard that my daughter, Keisha, is going to be placed with you next week. My caseworker said it would be ok to be in touch with you before then to say a few things. First of all, it’s really hard to know that my baby girl is going to be taken care of by another mother. I want you to know that I love Keisha very much. Even though she’s not with me now, she is always on my mind and I worry about her a lot. 

I want Keisha to do well with you and your family. Things got a little crazy here this past year and Keisha missed a lot of school. So, please make sure gets to school every day and does her homework. She is really smart, and I want her to stay in school and graduate high school and maybe even go to college. I want her to have a lot of the things I missed out on growing up. 

Keisha can be really quiet but there is a lot going on with her. She hides her feelings until she feels really safe with someone. So, please take some time to get to know her. Even if she says she doesn’t care about something she really does. Once she gets to trust you I hope she will be able to talk with you about things she worries about. 

Please, please help her understand that I love her and that I am working hard to get her back. I’ve been sober for three months now and I have been working as a waitress for the past six weeks. I’m still living with my mother (her Nana) but hope I can get an apartment for Keisha, her little brothers, and me. Please do everything you can to help her spend time with her brothers who are living together in another foster home. She has been an amazing big sister and probably had to spend too much time taking care of them. I know she worries about them a lot. 

Finally, I hope you understand how much I miss my kids. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life and I only hope I get a chance to make up for them with my kids. I want to see Keisha and spend time with her as soon as possible. My social worker said I could have regular phone calls with Keisha. I hope we can find a regular time for us to talk really soon. 

Maybe sometime you could call me and fill me in on what’s going on with her? That would be great. I hope we can get to know each other a little bit. I think I’ll feel better about this whole thing if I can see the person who is taking care of my baby girl. I hear that you have kids too and I pray that as another mother you can understand how much I love Keisha and how much I want things to be ok for her. 

Please give my love to Keisha! 

by Diane Kindler, MSW, LICSW

*This is a fictional letter based on real people and relationships.