Sometimes Love Means Saying Goodbye

Sometimes Love Means Saying Goodbye

Foster parents demonstrate their love for the children they care for in a variety of ways, including by providing comfort to the anxious child. By providing a daily routine, foster parents help kids understand that they will have good food, a comfortable bed to sleep in, and clean clothes to wear every day, no matter what. They understand that a child with a history of trauma needs extra TLC to feel safe.

Foster parents also show love by letting their foster children leave their home when the time is right. Foster care is not meant to be a permanent living arrangement for a child or teen. Foster care is meant to be a temporary safe harbor while efforts are made to find the best permanent living arrangement for a child or youth through reunification with birth parents, guardianship by another relative, or legal adoption.

Child welfare practice has evolved toward keeping kids with their families or, if that is not possible, returning them home or to another permanent family as soon as that can be accomplished. Safely. Foster parents play an important role in helping families reunify. They support visitation with parents and siblings. Whenever possible, they build a trusting relationship with the birth parents. These relationships are often a key part of the reunification process. They strive to honor their foster child’s culture and family traditions.

Letting go is not easy. It can be difficult for a child who has formed bonds with a loving family to leave a foster home. And it can be painful for the foster parent who has lovingly cared for a child for months or even years. Often, the transition from one home to another is gradual in order for everyone to prepare for the upcoming change.

The fact that foster care is a temporary plan does not make it any less important. Foster parents play a vital role in nurturing children until they can move to a permanent family. In fact, the work of foster parents is crucial in helping children move on. Seasoned foster parents appreciate this and know that although farewells can be sad, they are in the best interests of the child they have loved. Letting go isn’t easy, but it is an essential part of foster care.

By Diane Kindler, LCSW  2/14/23

Learn more about Plummer’s Foster Parent program here: https://bit.ly/foster_parenting

If you or someone you know is interested becoming a foster parent(s), please contact Linear Dowd (ldowd@plummeryouthpromise.org) or call 978-935-2801.